a little Xtra

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Exclusively Left on Ze SHelf
I've just arrived back in Melbourne. The visit back to Singapore felt like a dream. During the first week of my return to Singapore, I felt so left out. Everyone seems to have moved on and found a significant other. It's scary to come home and find that you're one of the 3 swinging single females in the class which originally had an incredible number of bachelorettes and bachelors at the beginning of the year. Welcome to the eLots club. Exclusively Left on the Shelf. Why the sad case? I just can't seem to find Mr. Right. Was going out with someone earlier this year but I pulled out because I found that I couldn't avoid the fact that 1) my grades were looking more and more like crap, 2)I was neglecting my friends and 3)the fact that I couldn't accept that he was not as ambitious as I'd like him to be. So I asked for a break to rethink our relationship, and after much deliberation, finally slipped back into the ranks of singledom. Mom's already starting to hint that she would like to take up the temporary job of matchmaking as she watches me fast approaching the big 2 'Os and realises to her horror that I am still single as a nose. The shelf life for females is drearily short and I'm moving fast towards the expiration date. Sharing my place on the shelf are my best friends, who see no point in finding a significant other. Their reasons range from the craving for pure independence to hard core feminism. For me, I'm just utterly undesirable. I seem doomed for shortlived, unsatisfying relationships.

My fellow eLotter HH assures me that there is nothing wrong at being single. She tells me that being single forces you to be independent and an altogther stronger person. I must say that having zilch relationships has allowed me to spend more time with my friends, has removed lots of distractions and has given me the chance to think and act decisively without having the expectation that I've someone to lean on. I agree with her with a burning feminist passion, which is probably why I can't find my better half. I shy away from relationships because I'm afraid to commit and terrified of hurting people by telling them the truth about the qualities they possess that I can't accept. It would be unfair to force someone to conform to your expectations. I had rather hold my silence at the expense of my own happiness, which results in me losing interest in the relationship, ditto for crushes ( which definitely number more than dates).

Sigh, despite consoling myself and mummy dearest with the fact that I still have about 10 years till ultimate expiration, I can't help feel wistful as I watch my friends abandon me for their significant others. Perhaps I should watch the movie Down with love one more time... DOwn with love and UP with chocolate :). Too bad, there is no ewan mcgregor ( swoon) look -alike to sweep me off my feet.