Saturday, August 09, 2003
The ICe Queen
" You don't have to do anything. Just sit there." Such were the words of the teacher which sealed my decision to be the lab subject. Just sit there and act like queen of the lab :). SOunds good. Alright, that wasn't the real reason. I was more curious to find out how much I could endure. Plus, the other subject to be was my friend and I didn't feel like making her do something I wouldn't do myself. Weird??? Fine, take it that I'm too naive.
And I was fast regretting the decision. A few minutes later, I was eyeing the bin of water uneasily, wishing I had taken up Suling's offer to be the experimental subject instead. Sidney grinned evilly as he ducked another bucket of icy cold water in. " It's cold... " he reminded me. I shrugged nonchantly, trying not to think about the next 40 minutes. Sidney motioned the others in the group to hook me up to the equipment. At the end of it, I looked like an experiment gone wrong.
Suling passed me a heart rate measurement tape to strap around my chest. I stared at the band in my hand. What was I supposed to do? Bare my ample, sagging, adipose ridden abdomen to the whole class? Sidney, David and Joseph just looked at my expectantly, all holding their respective equipment and awaiting their turns to torture me. I resigned to my fate, lifted up my shirt and, with Suling's help, fastened the stubborn tape just beneath my breast. Such is the predicament of the medical students. BUt the guys were cool about it. Sensing my discomfort, they looked away and engaged the teacher in some last minute quesitoning.
I had a thermometer stuck down my ear , which was held in place by a massive wad of masking tape. Sophie, the teacher, stuck it too far down and I felt a searing pain my ear. Yelping, I tried to remove it but ended up shoving it further down. Joseph jammed the respiratometer mouth piece into my mouth and Sidney started to take my blood pressue. In the flurry of arms and tangle of equipment, SUling was trying to take my skin resistance and my temperature. " Anyone got a camera?" Sidney asked cheekily. Silenced by the mouthpiece, I retorted by kicking him. THe others were more helpful. Joseph helped to steady the deadweighted mouthpiece and choosed to ignore the shower of spittle that issued after it was removed. Suling kept talking to me and checking my core temperature to make sure I didn't make it into iceland totally.
Then, the time came. I stuck my legs in the water while Suling and Sidney busied themselves by dumping ice in it to lower the temperature. Joseph brought in the fan, which messed up my hair even more than the masking tape that was plastered across my face and ear. THe water was freezing. The cold feeling in my legs eased into a numbing pain and finally, utter but blissful numbness. Sidney amused himself by throwing ice into the pail and watching my stricken face everytime he added another icecube to the pail. He tried putting one on my head but I threatened to make him look like a fish out of water by dumping the ice bucket on him and he relented. Suling was more sympathetic and probably feeling a little guilty that I had saved her from this awful fate. She helped by trying to melt the ice in the bin and kept me going with her encouragements. Every now and then, they would subject me to a series of test. I focused on the scene outside and meditated, regulating my breathing and playing a line from the sutra in my mind. When the equipment was removed, I passed the time joking and talking to them while trying to ignore the cold wind blasting on my back and my numb limbs. Everytime Joseph yanked out the mouthpiece, a huge blog of saliva would appear and dribble down my tshirt. Great. Sidney assured me laughingly that it was normal. I could only glare at him while struggling to find a piece of tissue to wipe it off.
After 40 agonising minutes, I was finally released from my position on the throne and allowed to plunge my feet into warm water.. " It's So PAINFUL!!!" I yelled, as my legs burned with the change in temperature. " Be brave," Sidney muttered distractedly as he found the instrument to test my reflexes. He couldn't locate the exact spot and entertained himself by hitting my knee consecutively until Suling pitied me and took over.
When I was finally allowed to dry off, I could barely stagger to my bag. Sidney, sensing that I might exact revenge, quickly made busied himself with the bin, readying it into defence position. But he didn't have to worry. I had barely enough coordination to make it to my seat. Satisfied that he was safe, he chuckled . " Good job, I'm proud of you." SUling smiled at me, relieved that I wasn't dead. I was actually elated that I had endured the experiment with nary a complaint to my friends and hardly a shiver.
Later I read in my horoscope: You will take a form of suffering in place of another and the group will run more smoothly that way. Weird. Really Weird.
" What do you get when a colonoscope and gastroscope meet each other?"
" A collidoscope! ( kaleidoscope)"
Norm's take on gastro examinations
" You don't have to do anything. Just sit there." Such were the words of the teacher which sealed my decision to be the lab subject. Just sit there and act like queen of the lab :). SOunds good. Alright, that wasn't the real reason. I was more curious to find out how much I could endure. Plus, the other subject to be was my friend and I didn't feel like making her do something I wouldn't do myself. Weird??? Fine, take it that I'm too naive.
And I was fast regretting the decision. A few minutes later, I was eyeing the bin of water uneasily, wishing I had taken up Suling's offer to be the experimental subject instead. Sidney grinned evilly as he ducked another bucket of icy cold water in. " It's cold... " he reminded me. I shrugged nonchantly, trying not to think about the next 40 minutes. Sidney motioned the others in the group to hook me up to the equipment. At the end of it, I looked like an experiment gone wrong.
Suling passed me a heart rate measurement tape to strap around my chest. I stared at the band in my hand. What was I supposed to do? Bare my ample, sagging, adipose ridden abdomen to the whole class? Sidney, David and Joseph just looked at my expectantly, all holding their respective equipment and awaiting their turns to torture me. I resigned to my fate, lifted up my shirt and, with Suling's help, fastened the stubborn tape just beneath my breast. Such is the predicament of the medical students. BUt the guys were cool about it. Sensing my discomfort, they looked away and engaged the teacher in some last minute quesitoning.
I had a thermometer stuck down my ear , which was held in place by a massive wad of masking tape. Sophie, the teacher, stuck it too far down and I felt a searing pain my ear. Yelping, I tried to remove it but ended up shoving it further down. Joseph jammed the respiratometer mouth piece into my mouth and Sidney started to take my blood pressue. In the flurry of arms and tangle of equipment, SUling was trying to take my skin resistance and my temperature. " Anyone got a camera?" Sidney asked cheekily. Silenced by the mouthpiece, I retorted by kicking him. THe others were more helpful. Joseph helped to steady the deadweighted mouthpiece and choosed to ignore the shower of spittle that issued after it was removed. Suling kept talking to me and checking my core temperature to make sure I didn't make it into iceland totally.
Then, the time came. I stuck my legs in the water while Suling and Sidney busied themselves by dumping ice in it to lower the temperature. Joseph brought in the fan, which messed up my hair even more than the masking tape that was plastered across my face and ear. THe water was freezing. The cold feeling in my legs eased into a numbing pain and finally, utter but blissful numbness. Sidney amused himself by throwing ice into the pail and watching my stricken face everytime he added another icecube to the pail. He tried putting one on my head but I threatened to make him look like a fish out of water by dumping the ice bucket on him and he relented. Suling was more sympathetic and probably feeling a little guilty that I had saved her from this awful fate. She helped by trying to melt the ice in the bin and kept me going with her encouragements. Every now and then, they would subject me to a series of test. I focused on the scene outside and meditated, regulating my breathing and playing a line from the sutra in my mind. When the equipment was removed, I passed the time joking and talking to them while trying to ignore the cold wind blasting on my back and my numb limbs. Everytime Joseph yanked out the mouthpiece, a huge blog of saliva would appear and dribble down my tshirt. Great. Sidney assured me laughingly that it was normal. I could only glare at him while struggling to find a piece of tissue to wipe it off.
After 40 agonising minutes, I was finally released from my position on the throne and allowed to plunge my feet into warm water.. " It's So PAINFUL!!!" I yelled, as my legs burned with the change in temperature. " Be brave," Sidney muttered distractedly as he found the instrument to test my reflexes. He couldn't locate the exact spot and entertained himself by hitting my knee consecutively until Suling pitied me and took over.
When I was finally allowed to dry off, I could barely stagger to my bag. Sidney, sensing that I might exact revenge, quickly made busied himself with the bin, readying it into defence position. But he didn't have to worry. I had barely enough coordination to make it to my seat. Satisfied that he was safe, he chuckled . " Good job, I'm proud of you." SUling smiled at me, relieved that I wasn't dead. I was actually elated that I had endured the experiment with nary a complaint to my friends and hardly a shiver.
Later I read in my horoscope: You will take a form of suffering in place of another and the group will run more smoothly that way. Weird. Really Weird.
" What do you get when a colonoscope and gastroscope meet each other?"
" A collidoscope! ( kaleidoscope)"
Norm's take on gastro examinations
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