Tuesday, August 12, 2003
OMG... AIR SUPPLY WAS IN SINGAPORE!!!! Sob, i love them. Wish I could go watch them.
oK. ignore the outburst, that was uncalled for.
BUT urgh.i love their songs.. right. right. the blog the blog..
Of Docs, blood, friends and central fatigue.
I still felt pretty crummy in the morning. By now, my sheer irritation of not being able to function 100 % had now decreased to a defeated resignation. I had already increased my sleeping hours, cut down my activites and workload.. and nothing worked. I faced the mirror, splashed cold water on my drawn face and rubbed it hard, wishing i could just rub out the dark rings under my eyes, which would have won me a tara panda look alike contest anyday. " BUCK UP GAL!!!" I yelled at my reflection, frustrated at the lack of energy my mind and my body possessed. But my image just stared back listlessly at me, mocking me.
I told Kn to go ahead, prefering instead to catch the tram. Saw Ed and M disappear behind the front door but I didn't have the strength to call out or catch up with them. Spotting the tram arriving, I raced ahead. But the fucking driver just closed the door in my face and drove off. I slumped back on the divider, praying that the next tram wouldn't be delayed. I hated to be late for school, it just got me all the more stressed out, which wasn't very advisable in my current state.
Thankfully the next tram arrived on time. I sunk gratefully into a seat and proceeded to arrange a medical appointment. I just had to find out what was wrong with me. I hated being in this useless, crapped up state. But secretly, I knew the doctors would probably be in the dark about the origin of my extreme exhaustion. I tried to hold a conversation with a fac. mate I met on the tram but my usual bubbly nature just couldn't surface from beneath the dark, dominating cloud of fatigue.
Somehow, I managed to make it into the lecture theatre. I pulled out my prezzie for WY and wished her a happy birthday. I felt so frustrated. THe usual me would have probably screamed a loud happy birthday, hugged the lucky person and probably kept pelting the birthday kid with happy birthday cheers all day long. The first lecture seem to past like a dream ( or rather a nightmare). I walked to the library , meeting edison and kenneth on the way up. They looked rather perplex to see me. Yeah, i still looked like shit . yeah yeah.. can someone pls tell me something different.. like.. OH GOD>. you look like a cow! That would be refreshing. I pulled out lehninger and tried my darnest to study insulin regulation or something to that effect. Looking up after another vain attempt to study, I spotted S coming round. It was rather amusing to see him in the silent section of the lib. Knowing him, he would much rather have being skewered alive than stuck in a hushed environment. He greeted me, told me i looked like crap ( which was starting to sound like a familiar greeting), whacked me on the head with his notes, and told me to go home and sleep. I stuck my tongue out at him and defiantly flipped open my notes and tried to study. My date with the doc was only at 10.45am and i was already so behind my work. I was gonna try to study as much as I could even if it killed me.
At about 10.23am i was convinced that nothing was going to go in my head. I headed to the clinic for my appointment. I prayed I would get a good doctor for i '[d already had my share of rather doubtful ones. My doctor was a kinda man with a rather wheezy voice. I immediately felt at ease as I trudged into his room. With furrowed eyebrows, he ran me through a couple of test, which after my short time in med school, suddenly made a whole lot more sense. He told me my lymph nodes were slightly swollen but could find no further errors in my body. He told me to go for a blood test and have an early night. I sighed and made my way to the familiar nurse's room. Ever since I started med school, they've been putting holes in me whenever the opportunity arose. The nurse placed the needle in my vein, tried to move it around and ended up with torn skin and no blood sample. " Sorry dear," she said as she popped in the needle at the exact same, tender spot on my arm. I just looked at the spot, horrified. Thinking of a patient I saw on Wednesday, I was reminded about how important it was to get painful procedures right. That bruise on the arm of that kindly old lady made me hope I wouldn't have to hurt anyone so bad. My thoughts settled on the patient again. It's hard not to form attachments to your patients though you need to draw the line between work and friendships. But all I really wanted to do that day was to buy a bunch of flowers, show up at her door and cheer her up. But I knew if I did that, I would have crossed over the line of professionlism. It's sad, but it's better not to become emotionally involved with work.
The nurse apologies drew my thoughts back to the present. I gathered my stuff, sat outside for a while and then went for lunch at subway. Then i made my way back for lecture. David egbert sent the whole fac into throes of helpless laughter by playing a parody of " Sugar.. oh honey honey"
Glucose..!. Oh sugar sugar..
You're a monosacharide...
A lovely aldehyde!!!
I'm drowning in lactate baby..
Drowning in lactate baby...
Sheesh. And I thought " Do you see the benzene rings" and " I will " metabolize ( survive)" were bad enough. The ridiculousness of the song had me giggling. It was a clever parady no doubt and a witty finish to the lecture on glucose and insulin. But the last few lines were quite pertinent to me... drowning in lactate.. I could relate to that. ONly that I had central fatigue, not peripheral fatigue.
I gave HMB lecture a miss.. catching the tram home to sleep. Met a guilty, sheepish looking W on the tram back. Guess people do give the lectures a miss after all. As I readied myself for bed, I prayed that I would wake up ok, but somehow, I knew that wasn't going to happen. My friends have been worrying about me and I was so touched by their concern. I wish fervently I could spruce up somehow but nothing seem to be happening...
Well, the fatigue is still hanging around me like a hateful shadow. I still look like crap and I still have to study. Life doesn't change much, does it????
I was trying to pass a stack of books to my friends when I nearly knocked the topmost one over onto the girl sitting in front of me in the lecture theatre. The title of the book was aptly named.. " Aggression in girls"
oK. ignore the outburst, that was uncalled for.
BUT urgh.i love their songs.. right. right. the blog the blog..
Of Docs, blood, friends and central fatigue.
I still felt pretty crummy in the morning. By now, my sheer irritation of not being able to function 100 % had now decreased to a defeated resignation. I had already increased my sleeping hours, cut down my activites and workload.. and nothing worked. I faced the mirror, splashed cold water on my drawn face and rubbed it hard, wishing i could just rub out the dark rings under my eyes, which would have won me a tara panda look alike contest anyday. " BUCK UP GAL!!!" I yelled at my reflection, frustrated at the lack of energy my mind and my body possessed. But my image just stared back listlessly at me, mocking me.
I told Kn to go ahead, prefering instead to catch the tram. Saw Ed and M disappear behind the front door but I didn't have the strength to call out or catch up with them. Spotting the tram arriving, I raced ahead. But the fucking driver just closed the door in my face and drove off. I slumped back on the divider, praying that the next tram wouldn't be delayed. I hated to be late for school, it just got me all the more stressed out, which wasn't very advisable in my current state.
Thankfully the next tram arrived on time. I sunk gratefully into a seat and proceeded to arrange a medical appointment. I just had to find out what was wrong with me. I hated being in this useless, crapped up state. But secretly, I knew the doctors would probably be in the dark about the origin of my extreme exhaustion. I tried to hold a conversation with a fac. mate I met on the tram but my usual bubbly nature just couldn't surface from beneath the dark, dominating cloud of fatigue.
Somehow, I managed to make it into the lecture theatre. I pulled out my prezzie for WY and wished her a happy birthday. I felt so frustrated. THe usual me would have probably screamed a loud happy birthday, hugged the lucky person and probably kept pelting the birthday kid with happy birthday cheers all day long. The first lecture seem to past like a dream ( or rather a nightmare). I walked to the library , meeting edison and kenneth on the way up. They looked rather perplex to see me. Yeah, i still looked like shit . yeah yeah.. can someone pls tell me something different.. like.. OH GOD>. you look like a cow! That would be refreshing. I pulled out lehninger and tried my darnest to study insulin regulation or something to that effect. Looking up after another vain attempt to study, I spotted S coming round. It was rather amusing to see him in the silent section of the lib. Knowing him, he would much rather have being skewered alive than stuck in a hushed environment. He greeted me, told me i looked like crap ( which was starting to sound like a familiar greeting), whacked me on the head with his notes, and told me to go home and sleep. I stuck my tongue out at him and defiantly flipped open my notes and tried to study. My date with the doc was only at 10.45am and i was already so behind my work. I was gonna try to study as much as I could even if it killed me.
At about 10.23am i was convinced that nothing was going to go in my head. I headed to the clinic for my appointment. I prayed I would get a good doctor for i '[d already had my share of rather doubtful ones. My doctor was a kinda man with a rather wheezy voice. I immediately felt at ease as I trudged into his room. With furrowed eyebrows, he ran me through a couple of test, which after my short time in med school, suddenly made a whole lot more sense. He told me my lymph nodes were slightly swollen but could find no further errors in my body. He told me to go for a blood test and have an early night. I sighed and made my way to the familiar nurse's room. Ever since I started med school, they've been putting holes in me whenever the opportunity arose. The nurse placed the needle in my vein, tried to move it around and ended up with torn skin and no blood sample. " Sorry dear," she said as she popped in the needle at the exact same, tender spot on my arm. I just looked at the spot, horrified. Thinking of a patient I saw on Wednesday, I was reminded about how important it was to get painful procedures right. That bruise on the arm of that kindly old lady made me hope I wouldn't have to hurt anyone so bad. My thoughts settled on the patient again. It's hard not to form attachments to your patients though you need to draw the line between work and friendships. But all I really wanted to do that day was to buy a bunch of flowers, show up at her door and cheer her up. But I knew if I did that, I would have crossed over the line of professionlism. It's sad, but it's better not to become emotionally involved with work.
The nurse apologies drew my thoughts back to the present. I gathered my stuff, sat outside for a while and then went for lunch at subway. Then i made my way back for lecture. David egbert sent the whole fac into throes of helpless laughter by playing a parody of " Sugar.. oh honey honey"
Glucose..!. Oh sugar sugar..
You're a monosacharide...
A lovely aldehyde!!!
I'm drowning in lactate baby..
Drowning in lactate baby...
Sheesh. And I thought " Do you see the benzene rings" and " I will " metabolize ( survive)" were bad enough. The ridiculousness of the song had me giggling. It was a clever parady no doubt and a witty finish to the lecture on glucose and insulin. But the last few lines were quite pertinent to me... drowning in lactate.. I could relate to that. ONly that I had central fatigue, not peripheral fatigue.
I gave HMB lecture a miss.. catching the tram home to sleep. Met a guilty, sheepish looking W on the tram back. Guess people do give the lectures a miss after all. As I readied myself for bed, I prayed that I would wake up ok, but somehow, I knew that wasn't going to happen. My friends have been worrying about me and I was so touched by their concern. I wish fervently I could spruce up somehow but nothing seem to be happening...
Well, the fatigue is still hanging around me like a hateful shadow. I still look like crap and I still have to study. Life doesn't change much, does it????
I was trying to pass a stack of books to my friends when I nearly knocked the topmost one over onto the girl sitting in front of me in the lecture theatre. The title of the book was aptly named.. " Aggression in girls"
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