Friday, February 18, 2005
Return to Melb
Back in Melbourne. Somehow I feel less prepared for this uprooting than the preceding ones. Singapore feels like a dream that I don’t want to wake up from. Sometimes in the mornings, I have the urge to pinch myself to remind myself that this is reality.
I guess I wasn’t prepared to leave everything and everyone in Singapore. I wrapped up my job really late, I kept so busy with volunteer work, with Buddhist Fellowship, with work, with my friends that I before I realized it, time caught up with me and I had to leave.
Melbourne has always felt welcoming, but this time it felt alien. I walked around as if I was in a daze for the first few days. There was a gloom that not even the bright blue summer sky to chase away. Maybe it was jet lag, maybe it was PMS, maybe I was homesick. Well, I wasn’t exactly raring for anything back in Singapore except my close friends and family. But it felt terrible to be plucked out from the midst of the happy mood of CNY, my noisy family environment ( my relatives were staying with us from Penang), my lovely workplace ( with Jac, SH and the rest of ppl), the caring and loving env of Yong En care center and my fellow Dharma farers at BF and tossed back into this quiet house. ( much quieter now minus Kelv).
I couldn’t really sleep for the first few nights. Various thoughts kept running through my mind. Frustration and unpreparedness for my other life in melb kept me awake. MicroB wasn’t much help either. My A levels basic stuff seems to have gone sailing out of the window.
But thankfully, I’m easing in gradually.. with prayers to Buddha and Guan Shi Yin PU Sa, with support from friends, with taibo, my usual daily jogs, ka chaoing my remaining housemate..
Back in Melbourne. Somehow I feel less prepared for this uprooting than the preceding ones. Singapore feels like a dream that I don’t want to wake up from. Sometimes in the mornings, I have the urge to pinch myself to remind myself that this is reality.
I guess I wasn’t prepared to leave everything and everyone in Singapore. I wrapped up my job really late, I kept so busy with volunteer work, with Buddhist Fellowship, with work, with my friends that I before I realized it, time caught up with me and I had to leave.
Melbourne has always felt welcoming, but this time it felt alien. I walked around as if I was in a daze for the first few days. There was a gloom that not even the bright blue summer sky to chase away. Maybe it was jet lag, maybe it was PMS, maybe I was homesick. Well, I wasn’t exactly raring for anything back in Singapore except my close friends and family. But it felt terrible to be plucked out from the midst of the happy mood of CNY, my noisy family environment ( my relatives were staying with us from Penang), my lovely workplace ( with Jac, SH and the rest of ppl), the caring and loving env of Yong En care center and my fellow Dharma farers at BF and tossed back into this quiet house. ( much quieter now minus Kelv).
I couldn’t really sleep for the first few nights. Various thoughts kept running through my mind. Frustration and unpreparedness for my other life in melb kept me awake. MicroB wasn’t much help either. My A levels basic stuff seems to have gone sailing out of the window.
But thankfully, I’m easing in gradually.. with prayers to Buddha and Guan Shi Yin PU Sa, with support from friends, with taibo, my usual daily jogs, ka chaoing my remaining housemate..
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