Sunday, May 08, 2005
Lose yourself
This week’s been a nightmare.
Sat: Nuff said. . Stoned in shock till 12am, called my mom at 1am, Lay awake till 3am , got desperate for sleep, then decided clonk out myself with a sleeping pill which somehow didn’t work.
Sunday: zombiefied. At least sorted things out. Went out for a walk. let's just say.. wasn't a good idea .
Monday: printer shows signs of choking.. and finally dies on me.
Tuesday: shouldn’t have gone for that bloody lecture. Ultimate waste of my time. Printer head still jumping to the rhythm of a heart undergoing atrial fibrillation. Notes not printer, revision in limbo, lectures gone straight to hell
Wed: last day at Dr. TV’s .. L . I’m gonna miss this guy so much. Met a Schizophrenic, this dude with dextrocardia, a lady with a stroke and clasp knife rigidity. Interviewed lotsa pts.. diagnosed 2. I actually got to take HX and diagnose one pt all by myself with allergic and inflamed sinuses! Dr TV sent me back home, the sweet thing. As I watched him pull out of the driveway, I wondered if I would ever see him again. Ahhh. That’s the kind of doctor I wanna be.
Thursday night: couldn’t go joggin, weather kept making me and lz walk in and out of the sports center. failure to set up j9’s printer on comp. Started on PBL at 10pm. Kicked my foot on the table and lost half my toenail. Bleeding like a stuck pig on the floor. Damn painful. Due to my lousy pain threshold, went into minor shock in my room. Bloody cold, nausea, fall in blood pressure, dizziness, the whole load of shit from a pbl case. Crawled into bed, lay there shivering for half an hour even with my heater blasting full on, couldn’t find my freaking pulse.. tried to finish pbl.. comp screen made me feel dizzy. Toe and whatever is left of my toenail hurts like hell.
Friday: finally got j9’s printer working on comp. Wasted the whole morning with that. clocked stopped at 1.50pm. freaking late for pbl. Bought some icecream which wasn’t great. Shopped at valley gal. Don’t ask me why I’m going shopping on the weekend b4 the test.
Sat: clocked started and stopped at 11am. late for temple. Missed the 1st part of an excellent talk.
Yeah.. that’s my week. Lost my revision rhythm, lost my sleep, lost my printer, lost my cool, , lost my trust, lost my clinical placement teacher, lost my time, lost the first 20 min of PBL, yeah. And here’s the ultimate: Lost my toenail.
Think the only thing left for me to lose is my sanity.
Funny how I run into problems in teh week and the shifu addresses them on saturday.
Forebearance.. hai.. smth i need to learn so bad. I can't let my bad conditions affect myself so much and take it out on others.. Sorry guys.. i'm such a bitch.. argh. Thanks for standing by me .... I don't know wat' 'd do w/o you guys
I't shard to realise when you're down and out that the situation you're in is the result of my karma and my conditions. I keep forgetting that .. i keep forgetting the impermanence of the situation... i keep creating more bad karma with my bad temper... argh.. gotta reflect.. Sorry. sorry sorry guys.. i'm really gone case man.
Thank goodness the week is over. I' think i'm still feeling pretty down, but i'm getting there.. I will be Ready to ROOOOOOLLLL for week 12.
STAR WARS IS COMING!!!! WHOO HOO
This week’s been a nightmare.
Sat: Nuff said. . Stoned in shock till 12am, called my mom at 1am, Lay awake till 3am , got desperate for sleep, then decided clonk out myself with a sleeping pill which somehow didn’t work.
Sunday: zombiefied. At least sorted things out. Went out for a walk. let's just say.. wasn't a good idea .
Monday: printer shows signs of choking.. and finally dies on me.
Tuesday: shouldn’t have gone for that bloody lecture. Ultimate waste of my time. Printer head still jumping to the rhythm of a heart undergoing atrial fibrillation. Notes not printer, revision in limbo, lectures gone straight to hell
Wed: last day at Dr. TV’s .. L . I’m gonna miss this guy so much. Met a Schizophrenic, this dude with dextrocardia, a lady with a stroke and clasp knife rigidity. Interviewed lotsa pts.. diagnosed 2. I actually got to take HX and diagnose one pt all by myself with allergic and inflamed sinuses! Dr TV sent me back home, the sweet thing. As I watched him pull out of the driveway, I wondered if I would ever see him again. Ahhh. That’s the kind of doctor I wanna be.
Thursday night: couldn’t go joggin, weather kept making me and lz walk in and out of the sports center. failure to set up j9’s printer on comp. Started on PBL at 10pm. Kicked my foot on the table and lost half my toenail. Bleeding like a stuck pig on the floor. Damn painful. Due to my lousy pain threshold, went into minor shock in my room. Bloody cold, nausea, fall in blood pressure, dizziness, the whole load of shit from a pbl case. Crawled into bed, lay there shivering for half an hour even with my heater blasting full on, couldn’t find my freaking pulse.. tried to finish pbl.. comp screen made me feel dizzy. Toe and whatever is left of my toenail hurts like hell.
Friday: finally got j9’s printer working on comp. Wasted the whole morning with that. clocked stopped at 1.50pm. freaking late for pbl. Bought some icecream which wasn’t great. Shopped at valley gal. Don’t ask me why I’m going shopping on the weekend b4 the test.
Sat: clocked started and stopped at 11am. late for temple. Missed the 1st part of an excellent talk.
Yeah.. that’s my week. Lost my revision rhythm, lost my sleep, lost my printer, lost my cool, , lost my trust, lost my clinical placement teacher, lost my time, lost the first 20 min of PBL, yeah. And here’s the ultimate: Lost my toenail.
Think the only thing left for me to lose is my sanity.
Funny how I run into problems in teh week and the shifu addresses them on saturday.
Forebearance.. hai.. smth i need to learn so bad. I can't let my bad conditions affect myself so much and take it out on others.. Sorry guys.. i'm such a bitch.. argh. Thanks for standing by me .... I don't know wat' 'd do w/o you guys
I't shard to realise when you're down and out that the situation you're in is the result of my karma and my conditions. I keep forgetting that .. i keep forgetting the impermanence of the situation... i keep creating more bad karma with my bad temper... argh.. gotta reflect.. Sorry. sorry sorry guys.. i'm really gone case man.
Thank goodness the week is over. I' think i'm still feeling pretty down, but i'm getting there.. I will be Ready to ROOOOOOLLLL for week 12.
STAR WARS IS COMING!!!! WHOO HOO
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