Saturday, August 06, 2005
The short end of the stick
short ppl have no reason,
short ppl have no reason,
short pple have no reason to live..
I still recall that annoying acapella song i had on my CD by the King's singers when i was still in choir and working on the Fringe song arrangements.
they' wear platform shoes on their nasty little feet!!!
don't want no short ppl!
Don't want no short ppl!
Dont' want no short ppl round here.
I seriously think these guys were midget phobic.
According to a study done, tall, beautiful ppl were more likely to nail interviews, hold higher positions in the company, get promotions. And just a quickie glance at the magazines, the TV and the newspapers would allow you to come to the inevitable conclusion : tall ppl rule this world. From Air jordan, to Tiger woods, from Nicole Kidman to the leggy Paris Hilton...
Being her royal Shortness has allowed me to view life from an interesting perspective, albeit with a huge parallax error.
I recall when i was in sec. school and we had a relief teacher for history. She had an extremely toned body, which she flaunted to full advantage in the tight short numbers that she wore. One fine sunny day, she catwalked up to me and my other vertically challenged friend in class and peered at us like a scientist examining a petri dish.
" Aiyoh, you gals are soooo short! You should try steriods."
Er... no thanks. Looking like arnie has never been my dream.
Then there was the time in primary school, where my chinese teacher ( who was also discipline mistress) would march up the front of our class, suck in a lungful of air and expell it with a shrill command to the school, " AAAAAAAN JING!!!"
TOo bad she forgot that there someone standing in front of her. ANd too bad she forgot that that particular someone had her ears situated at the level of the megaphone. So mom, when the piano teacher told you that i had a really bad ear for playback exercise, you know who to look for.
Of course you get the usual shortcomings like greetings of " Heya! how's the weather down there?", being mistaken for a secondary 2 student, standing around the basketball court wondering why the ball keeps eluding you, jumping up and down to read the tram timetable , to being told that wearing an assympetrical skirt wasn't an option since my legs stopped pretty much where they started... and oh yes. the latest:
My parents wanted to get me a booster seat coz i couldn't see above the back dashboard of my car.
I was telling Tzuie, we short pple should get together and organise a demonstration to raise awareness of our plight.
" Yeah sure, raise awareness," came the oh so understanding reply.
We do have aspirations too btw, as human beings in the rat race, soaring to greater heights is a common goal, regardless of your starting position.
Was reading a book with Lz in kino juz now. The Definitive Book of Body language by Barbara and Allan Pease. Ok that was after we put down the Karma sutra .. ahem, nono. i meant the Comma sutra ( a guide to adjectives and punctuations).
They were talking about height ratios. Wonder why girls seem to pick men who are taller than they are? No.. it's not so you can wear your favourite high heel shoes. Most gals will tell you, they'll never date a guy shorter than they are, but they can't really pin down the actual reason. Anyway, according to the book : here's the actual reason. Height is associated with strength.So bascally it's the same old arguement, better height -- > better gene pool --> better sex . ahem. nono.. i mean--> better baby. ( nono.. i swear we were looking at the comma sutra, not the karma sutra)
But despite all these, there are a few things that make our lives a little more bearable:
For girls, there is the almost unlimited choice of men. No need to worry about whether the high heels are gonna turn your date into Mr Dwarf. No need to worry about changing the lightbulbs in your house since most ppl don't wanna see you have a broken neck just because you would have to take that leap of faith off that chair to reach the faulty apparatus.And you're nearer to the fallen coins that litter the floor at the fairgrounds.
Another wierd phenomenan, which my fellow shortizens were discussing during BFchoir meet, is that ppl tend to find short pple " cute" .
" eeek. ugly but adorable," groaned my friend.
Shrug. Whatever works. You just have to master the art of plastering a cherubic grin on your visage, and that high pitched flitty voice and you've got the added advantage :).
So bottom line is , being short ain't that bad. With alower center of gravity, you ain't no pushover. ANd if anything fails, just let them know that you're more down to earth, and less likely to be the target of a lightning strike.
short ppl have no reason,
short ppl have no reason,
short pple have no reason to live..
I still recall that annoying acapella song i had on my CD by the King's singers when i was still in choir and working on the Fringe song arrangements.
they' wear platform shoes on their nasty little feet!!!
don't want no short ppl!
Don't want no short ppl!
Dont' want no short ppl round here.
I seriously think these guys were midget phobic.
According to a study done, tall, beautiful ppl were more likely to nail interviews, hold higher positions in the company, get promotions. And just a quickie glance at the magazines, the TV and the newspapers would allow you to come to the inevitable conclusion : tall ppl rule this world. From Air jordan, to Tiger woods, from Nicole Kidman to the leggy Paris Hilton...
Being her royal Shortness has allowed me to view life from an interesting perspective, albeit with a huge parallax error.
I recall when i was in sec. school and we had a relief teacher for history. She had an extremely toned body, which she flaunted to full advantage in the tight short numbers that she wore. One fine sunny day, she catwalked up to me and my other vertically challenged friend in class and peered at us like a scientist examining a petri dish.
" Aiyoh, you gals are soooo short! You should try steriods."
Er... no thanks. Looking like arnie has never been my dream.
Then there was the time in primary school, where my chinese teacher ( who was also discipline mistress) would march up the front of our class, suck in a lungful of air and expell it with a shrill command to the school, " AAAAAAAN JING!!!"
TOo bad she forgot that there someone standing in front of her. ANd too bad she forgot that that particular someone had her ears situated at the level of the megaphone. So mom, when the piano teacher told you that i had a really bad ear for playback exercise, you know who to look for.
Of course you get the usual shortcomings like greetings of " Heya! how's the weather down there?", being mistaken for a secondary 2 student, standing around the basketball court wondering why the ball keeps eluding you, jumping up and down to read the tram timetable , to being told that wearing an assympetrical skirt wasn't an option since my legs stopped pretty much where they started... and oh yes. the latest:
My parents wanted to get me a booster seat coz i couldn't see above the back dashboard of my car.
I was telling Tzuie, we short pple should get together and organise a demonstration to raise awareness of our plight.
" Yeah sure, raise awareness," came the oh so understanding reply.
We do have aspirations too btw, as human beings in the rat race, soaring to greater heights is a common goal, regardless of your starting position.
Was reading a book with Lz in kino juz now. The Definitive Book of Body language by Barbara and Allan Pease. Ok that was after we put down the Karma sutra .. ahem, nono. i meant the Comma sutra ( a guide to adjectives and punctuations).
They were talking about height ratios. Wonder why girls seem to pick men who are taller than they are? No.. it's not so you can wear your favourite high heel shoes. Most gals will tell you, they'll never date a guy shorter than they are, but they can't really pin down the actual reason. Anyway, according to the book : here's the actual reason. Height is associated with strength.So bascally it's the same old arguement, better height -- > better gene pool --> better sex . ahem. nono.. i mean--> better baby. ( nono.. i swear we were looking at the comma sutra, not the karma sutra)
But despite all these, there are a few things that make our lives a little more bearable:
For girls, there is the almost unlimited choice of men. No need to worry about whether the high heels are gonna turn your date into Mr Dwarf. No need to worry about changing the lightbulbs in your house since most ppl don't wanna see you have a broken neck just because you would have to take that leap of faith off that chair to reach the faulty apparatus.And you're nearer to the fallen coins that litter the floor at the fairgrounds.
Another wierd phenomenan, which my fellow shortizens were discussing during BFchoir meet, is that ppl tend to find short pple " cute" .
" eeek. ugly but adorable," groaned my friend.
Shrug. Whatever works. You just have to master the art of plastering a cherubic grin on your visage, and that high pitched flitty voice and you've got the added advantage :).
So bottom line is , being short ain't that bad. With alower center of gravity, you ain't no pushover. ANd if anything fails, just let them know that you're more down to earth, and less likely to be the target of a lightning strike.
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