Friday, August 05, 2005
Sigh. wish i were back in melbourne. Fo guang shan temple translating team is having a camp. we have 2 new members ( applauds!!!). whoopee! glad to see more ppl are joining us. gosh, i miss my Buddhist discussion group back in Melbourne. I really really hope that Jeff will come and set up a band/ choir at our temple. Then we can arrange Jeff's awesome music and sing it after Dharma function!
We should try organising a Buddhist youth conference like they have here in Singapore and attract more youths. It's so sad that such a beautiful religion like Buddhism is not known to so many.
stay in the present moment, appreciate the impermanence of it all.
Had musical rehearsal at Buddhist fellowship yesterday. I never laughed soooo hard for such a long time. Aiyoh, this Jy has a real talent for comedy. Throat is pretty tight. didn't do a proper warm up b4 i went straight for the high notes. I';m so not a soprano. i think my range juz went boink after i left choir. I'm screeching at a high E already. gulp. i can't even hit the low notes comfortably either.
and you've got to choose
pretty happy but sometimes i wonder, iz it all worth it? looking back at last sem: Me getting stressed up over my studies. Taking it out on ppl around me, being depressed, getting recurring episodes of gastritis, recurring episodes of insomnia. " that's the problem, " i told Js once. " ppl go for 100%, but we have to push for 125%, even if that extra 25% kills uz. YOu know it's absurd, but if you don't push for it, you feel damn guilty"
J and I laugh at ourselves all the time. At our likeness, at our obsession with near perfection, our constant race against time, our guilt ridden trips away from work. I really wonder sometimes, iz it worth it? Juz cramming that extra amount of info, so you could get a few marks more? feeling guilty when you go out to have dinner with your friends because the time could have been spent doing some more muggin? THen getting all worked up and venting my frustrations out on everyone? Are those extra marks gonna make me a better doctor? I doubt it. but then again, I wanna give it my best shot. But at what costs? It's so tough, getting the balance right.
work vs friends, life, goals, dreams, relationships, family. sometimes sacrifices and adjustments have to be made. But dare I make it in the first domain? i feel disgusted at myself half the time. The truth is, i don't cope with stress well. And i cause my frens n parents so much distress watching me trying to deal with my life. THankfully, i've been blessed with good fellowship and supports, pple who are there for me in my darkest hours, when i feel that my world is crumbling and i can't go on. But i can't juz keep doing this to them. it's terrible.
We should try organising a Buddhist youth conference like they have here in Singapore and attract more youths. It's so sad that such a beautiful religion like Buddhism is not known to so many.
stay in the present moment, appreciate the impermanence of it all.
Had musical rehearsal at Buddhist fellowship yesterday. I never laughed soooo hard for such a long time. Aiyoh, this Jy has a real talent for comedy. Throat is pretty tight. didn't do a proper warm up b4 i went straight for the high notes. I';m so not a soprano. i think my range juz went boink after i left choir. I'm screeching at a high E already. gulp. i can't even hit the low notes comfortably either.
and you've got to choose
pretty happy but sometimes i wonder, iz it all worth it? looking back at last sem: Me getting stressed up over my studies. Taking it out on ppl around me, being depressed, getting recurring episodes of gastritis, recurring episodes of insomnia. " that's the problem, " i told Js once. " ppl go for 100%, but we have to push for 125%, even if that extra 25% kills uz. YOu know it's absurd, but if you don't push for it, you feel damn guilty"
J and I laugh at ourselves all the time. At our likeness, at our obsession with near perfection, our constant race against time, our guilt ridden trips away from work. I really wonder sometimes, iz it worth it? Juz cramming that extra amount of info, so you could get a few marks more? feeling guilty when you go out to have dinner with your friends because the time could have been spent doing some more muggin? THen getting all worked up and venting my frustrations out on everyone? Are those extra marks gonna make me a better doctor? I doubt it. but then again, I wanna give it my best shot. But at what costs? It's so tough, getting the balance right.
work vs friends, life, goals, dreams, relationships, family. sometimes sacrifices and adjustments have to be made. But dare I make it in the first domain? i feel disgusted at myself half the time. The truth is, i don't cope with stress well. And i cause my frens n parents so much distress watching me trying to deal with my life. THankfully, i've been blessed with good fellowship and supports, pple who are there for me in my darkest hours, when i feel that my world is crumbling and i can't go on. But i can't juz keep doing this to them. it's terrible.
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