a little Xtra

It may seemed like a pile of dung has just been dumped on your doorstep ( aka life).
But no one can shovel it for you.
you've to do it your self.
but bear in mind that after you have managed to clear it,
the well fertilised soil will help the flowers to bloom once more. :)


that's life

--- my sumary of a story from Ajahn Brahm's opening the Door to you heart.


I quote my partner in crime , Red hot cold turkey,

I can compare my life to the analogy of stumbling along the railway trek to my destination, and getting mowed over by passing trains.
just as you feebly claw your way back on trek, another one hits you smack.

but i guess the thing we can both hold our head up and say iz that we're still going

After getting merrily squashed by many carriages and containers, and still reeling from the last well aimed hit... suddenly, out of the blue came another steam engine.

Well, i can't say I wasn't bruised. that would be lying. But i can say that there iz still a lot of joy in my life that the bruising can't take away from me. It's only after I read the book that I found what "opening the door to one's heart" meant to me.

Opening the door of my heart to the pain, the attachments, the disappointment.
Opening the door of my heart to the happiness that I know that others have found.
Opening the door of my heart to the blessings I rediscovered that I have, all the good bricks in the wall that makes up my complicated life :)


I picked myself up from the dusty road, closed my eyes and meditated. And through the calmness that my mind settled into, I saw in myself a mixture of sadness and relief and contentment. Sadness coz my of my attachment to my desires, Relief because I knew that I could finally let go, contentment because I looked around at my garden, and knew that even tho' the leaves weren't as orderly as I 'd like them to be, that the garden was in the sense, perfect enough to bring joy to me.

So a better analogy for life, probably woulnd't be : getting hit by a series of trains.
It would be more like a garden that we slave to keep in order... to our ultimate perfection. I watered that rose bush as best as I could and cared for it, but in the freak storm that swept into the fragile little paradise, it still died. Withered petals and dead leaves littered the grass.
You'll definitely feel a sense of loss and misery, for the effort that you put in, and the thing that you lost. But then take a look at the scene... the rough, wild and carefree beauty that the place has now acquired. The withered petals and dead leaves would fertilise the ground for the growth of new plants. Appreciate that other plants have survived, each lovely in their own way.. appreciate the new look of the place... be content with what is there, but at the same time, plan for what has to be done.

I'm still shoveling that huge pile of dung in front of my house. There are many people working with me :) but ultimatley, i know the majority of the work will be done by me. the pile is still there.. but it's growing smaller. and I know I will be done with it one day . i can't wait to see the flowers bloom in in that spot during spring time :)